02 October,2009 07:17 AM IST | | Soumya Mukerji
That's Chetan Bhagat in his latest avatar, after writing his new book 2 States: the story of my Marriage. the author tells FYIu00a0why a Tamilian marrying a Punjab da puttar is just an act of national solidarity
Marriages are made in heaven, but in India, it's about going through hell before that. For instance, when Chetan Bhagat, the quintessential Punjab da puttar, decided to wed demure Tamilian Anusha, little did he know of the horrors that lay ahead. "It took longer to convince my parents than my wife!" he confesses, emphasising the need for everyone to understand how inter-state marriages are an act of national solidarity, above anything else that, being the theme of his latest book, 2 States: The Story of My Marriage.
We see tying the knot wasn't an easy affair for you.
Yes, there's a lot of emotional distress when parents refuse to smile at your wedding. You don't want to shove it down their throat, and do wish they'd be happy for you. It's ironic, how everyone talks of India being a united country, with prejudices only showing up when their kids are about to get married.
So, are you offering a solution?
The solution is that you don't fight. Sit and talk it out. Prejudices are bad, not the people who harbour them. There's no quick solution, but my book, through its funny anecdotes, talks about how patience can make parents realise that inter-state marriages are really good not just for the couple, but the country, too.
Whose parents were more difficult to convince?
Mine acted slightly more difficult. Ladkawalas from up North, na.
What is the biggest problem with Indian parents?
They think they have a remote control for their kids. They just can't accept that children, as adults, want to be masters of their own
destiny.u00a0
But hasn't Gen-Next grown out of the parent-pleasing syndrome?
I don't think so. Yes, parents don't beat up kids or lock them up anymore, but children do get emotionally affected, and seek their approval at the end of the day.u00a0
Your book could be a perfect plot for a Bollywood hit. Sold the screen rights yet?
No, it's too premature. Even the book isn't out yet! I have offers, though, and want to make sure an A grade banner takes it on this time.
What about all that ugly criticism of your writing being urban trash?
I have never claimed to be a potential Booker winner or a Salman Rushdie. I'm simply a storyteller, and people seem to like my writing. Also, it is funny how Indians have this whole notion of complicated English being the best. The only problem, though, crops up when my kids point at a review and say, "Dad, you got just one star. And you ask us to get five?"
When you came out with The Three Mistakes, you told us you're the T20 of literature. Are you happy with the scoreboard?
T20 was then. Today, I'm Twitter!
Chubby, charming or cherubic?
Definitely not chubby. I've lost weight, yaar, even though I know I have a long way to go. Charming, yes. How charming is a house-husband, though? I'm enjoying being that, as I write and my wife carries on with her bank job. I quit mine because it was getting tough on the kids. But it's embarrassing when people ask, "So, what do you do apart from writing?" Not exactly youth icon stuff, you know!
2 States is a story about Krish and Ananya. They are from two different states of India, deeply in love and want to get married. Of course, their parents don't agree. To convert their love story into a love marriage, the couple have a tough battle in front of them. For it is easy to fight and rebel, but it is much harder to convince.
Will they make it?
Chetan is currently writing the screenplay for two films:
>>3 Idiots, starring Aamir Khan and Kareena Kapoor, which is Inspired by Five Point Someone.
>>Rock On director Abhishek Kapoor's untitled film based on The 3 Mistakes of My Life, produced by Farhan Akhtar and Ritesh Sidhwani.
Excerpt from 2 states: The Story of My Marriage
"Why am I referred here? I don't have a problem," I said. She didn't react. Just gestured that I remove my shoes and take the couch. She had an office like any other doctor's, minus the smells and cold, dangerous instruments.
She waited for me to talk more. I hesitated and spoke again. "I'm sure people come here with big, insurmountable problems. Girlfriends dump their boyfriends everyday. Hardly the reason to see a shrink, right? What am I, a psycho?"
"No, I am the psycho. Psychotherapist to be precise. If you don't mind, I prefer that to shrink," she said.
"Sorry," I said.
"It's OK," she said and reclined on her chair. No more than thirty, she seemed young for a shrink, sorry, psychotherapist. Certificates from top US universities adorned the walls like tiger heads in a hunter's home.
Yes, another South Indian had conquered the world of academics. Dr. Neeta Iyer, Valedictorian, Vassar College. "I charge five hundred rupees per hour," she said. "Stare at the walls or talk. I'm cool either way." I had spent twelve minutes, or a hundred bucks, without getting anywhere. I wondered if she would accept a partial payment and let me leave.
"Dr. Iyer..."
"Neeta is fine," she said.
"OK, Neeta, I don't think my problem warrants this. I don't know why Dr. Ramachandran sent me here."
She picked my file from her desk. Let's see. This is Dr. Ram's brief to me patient has sleep deprivation, has cut off human contact for a week, refuses to eat, has Google-searched on best ways to commit suicide." She paused and looked at me with raised eyebrows.
"I Google for all sorts of stuff," I mumbled, "don't you?" "The report says the mere mention of her name, her neighbourhood or any association, like her favourite dish, brings out unpredictable emotions ranging from tears to rage to frustration." "I had a break-up. What do you expect?" I was irritated.
"Sure, with Ananya who stays in Mylapore. What's her favourite dish? Curd rice?"
I sat up straight. "Don't," I said weakly and felt a lump in my throat. I fought back tears. "Don't," I said again.
"Don't what?" Neeta egged me on, "Minor problem, isn't it?" "Fuck minor. It's killing me." I stood agitatedly.
"Do you South Indians even know what emotions are all about?" "I'll ignore the racist comment. You can stand and talk, but if it is a long story, take the couch. I want it all," she said. I broke into tears. "Why did this happen to me?" I sobbed.
She passed me a tissue.
"Where do I begin?" I said and sat gingerly on the couch.
2 states: The Story of My Marriage has been published by Rupa and will be available at bookstores for Rs 95
