Couch makes me a slouch. Have lost interest in life...

I am a mother of two. I have a fantastic husband who supports me wholeheartedly...

Couch makes me a slouch. Have lost interest in life...

Dear Diana,

Illustration/ Sameer Pawar

I am a mother of two. I have a fantastic husband who supports me wholeheartedly. I gained a lot of weight after my second child and have turned into this lethargic being that has no interest in life. I spend all my free time reading or watching TV. I spent money, enrolled in a gym but did not go after a week. Ditto with aerobics and weight loss clinics. My maid is more of a mother to my kids than I am. She packs the young one off to school while I sleep, bathes them, cooks for them, takes them to the park, etc. while I sit on the couch reading or watching TV and making excuses if the kids insist on going out.

I have an entrepeneurial venture which no longer interests me. I kind of lose interest in things immediately after starting them. I feel useless. I have no will power to change. I really want to be a good mother and wife but lack the will power to do it. I want to pursue my hobbies and get out there and make friends but something is pulling me back.

Couch Potato

Dear Friend,
Nothing I say is going to make you change your ways, if you yourself don't have the will to change. Why should you? For a better, healthier lifestyle, perhaps? To be able to spend quality time with your children. To mould a self-made career you can be proud of. The incentives are plentiful but only you can make them a reality. Making excuses is just a way of delaying the inevitable. Make an effort to do away with your laziness and lethargy any way you can. Only self-introspection can tell you what's holding you back.

But I am not cheating on her!

Dear Diana,
Two years back, I fell in love with a girl. One day, I was shopping with my cousin sister. From that day on, she suspected me of two-timing her. I want her back in my life, I cannot live without her.

Sushil Chakma

Dear Sushil,
Ideally, you should have introduced his girl to all your relatives as your girlfriend. That way, she'd never mistake your cousin as another girl in your life. And besides, can't she give you a chance to clear your name? That's not fair at all.

He wants me to cut off relations with my folks

Dear Diana,
I am really worried. I got married four months back. It was an arranged marriage. Recently, my husband came to know about my physical problem. He has been disturbed since. And his behaviour has really changed. I love him a lot and can't live without him. He has decided that I stay with him and my in-laws permanently and cut off all relations with my parents as he feels they have cheated him. I am really worried because I love all of them and cannot leave anyone.

Vaishali

Dear Vaishali,
What is this physical problem? Is it bad enough for your husband to want to seek 'revenge' for being 'misinformed'? Ideally, you shouldn't have kept any secrets from the guy you were marrying. Secrets have a way of tumbling out when you least expect them. In any case, how long did you think it would be, before he learnt of it? It's difficult to let go of your parents (and not have anything to do with them). It is too big a price for something your parents should have made clear. So he was in the know and didn't feel cheated.