I'm straight as hell but she thinks I bend the other way

I'm straight as hell but she thinks I bend the other way

I'm straight as hell but she thinks I bend the other way

Dear Diana,
I'm in a relationship with this girl who i love very much. We've been together for about two and a half years now. I live with a friend in Colaba, Mumbai, who is quite 'open' about how he lives his life. He roams around the

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

house naked, wakes up with a huge hard-on and some nights, even tries to bone me when I am fast asleep. I have slapped him twice when he tried to stick it in me and kicked him where it hurts the most, too. He says that's a turn-on too. I've tried to hammer some sense into him, but he says it only make him hornier. Once my girlfriend came over and found me bent over in the kitchen (I was looking for a spoon) and saw him trying to spoon me. Repulsed, she didn't stick around to watch me kick the shit out of him. She phoned that night to say that she didn't know I bent that way (talk about the irony of it!) and so wanted to break up with me so I "could be happy". That girl has a way with words, I tell you! Anyway, get me out of this mess without having to leave the house I live in. It belongs to him and I DON'T PAY RENT! I've been saving up to marry this chick ASAP. Staying with this guy saves me a chunk of change. Don't get me wrong, he isn't gay. Just plain stupid and he likes being that way. BTW, his gal's hotter than mine. Mine doesn't believe a word I say.

Arjun M

Dear Arjun,
Make her aware of the sacrifices you're making for her, boy! Of course, she won't buy it because you say it is so. Any self-respecting girl wouldu00a0 be a fool not to believe her own eyes. The fores and afts just don't matter, the image has been indelibly stamped into memory. You'll have to show her it wasn't an isolated incident. That you put up with his silliness everyday and aren't affected by it. That he means nothing by his actions. The inevitable question ('Why can't you just leave?') will get an answer that sounds convenient, at best. You'll have to simply prove it to her by showing her your bank statements and savings thereof. As a last resort, set up a meeting between the two women without your friend's knowledge and let the two women sort it out. You can bet that the hotter chick (your friend's girlfriend) knows her man's eccentricities better and is comfortable with them. Unless of course, she's as twisted as he is (if not more). That could open a whole new can of worms.u00a0 Are you sure your girlfriend is worth the trouble?

Is it okay to drug my wife to have anal sex?

Dear Diana,
I am having a sexual affair with a friend's mom and her daughter (who is currently my wife). Is there any chance of me contracting STDs? I read a similar query published yesterday and I, too, do not use condoms. Also, my wife does not allow me to have anal sex and so, I give her sleeping pills and satisfy myself. Is it okay to do this?

James

Dear James,
You are not only carrying on an adulterous affair with your wife's mother but are also indulging in marital rape by having sex with you wife in a way she doesn't approve of. You have done so without her consent and therefore, could be held guilty of drugging her with an intent to unlawfully having sex with her, should the matter reach a court of law. It is not at all okay to do what you are doing. And yes, without the use of condoms, you increase the risks of contracting STDs multifold.