No 'Sorry,' we're Indian

We know Indians are a really loving people. How? Because Indians never say they're sorry

We know Indians are a really loving people. How? Because Indians never say they're sorry. And as Ali McGraw said in the movie: Love means never having to say you're sorry. I know it was actually Eric Segal who said it in the book but any idiot or 3 knows that once it's a movie the book doesn't count yaar.

That makes our minister R R Patil very lovingu00a0 because when he got snapped not wearing a seat belt, he did not say I'm sorry I broke the law. A harmless mistake, but here's the fine. He said this is a stupid law in a city where traffic moves at 15-20 km/hour. We should change the law, to make me look right. I'm also not sorry bar dancers lost their livelihoods by the way because can't you see I did it for their good, which is what love's about?

Then there's lover boy Rahul Mahajan. He never said sorry when people allegedly died because of his alleged drug habits. Or when he allegedly beat up women he allegedly loved. How diluted would sorry make romance, dude. When he beat his latest wife after being unable to unlock her phone's keypad (you think it makes him a Neanderthal? Come on, cell phones have become really complicated), because maybe a late night SMS disturbed him while he was drunk-dialling his ex, she should understand it's love, not domestic violence.

Naturally when she goes public, no one expects any sorrys to rend the air. You thought the channel should apologise for irresponsibly putting up a habitual offender on swayamvar? No, they love their viewers, and their viewers love them -- TRPs are also a kind of love.u00a0 The channel's CEO seemed to want Dimpy to say sorry because "all couples have their fights but it's ugly when they take it public."u00a0 When Dimpy returns, displaying the predictable cycle of power and control domestic violence involves, a Page 3 lady writer says, I paraphrase: that girl was grubbing for money being on the show, so she deserves no sympathy.u00a0 In other words, she should say sorry for being a money-grubber unlike those who don't grub for money, because they already have it.

Maybe love is about making other people say they're sorry?

Then Omar Abdullah does not have to say sorry for repeatedly screwing up in Kashmir -- in fact, strong man in veshti, PC, wants Kashmiri youth to say sorry for being traumatised and showing it. Because we love our country. In Bollywood people change writers, directors, crews, whole movies mid-project without explanation because they can't seem to say I'm sorry it's not working out. Because, movies are actually made with love not money. Lovers don't return phone calls, because they seem unable to say, I'm sorry I made a mistake about my feelings. People who hunt endangered animals, corporations that poison hundreds in gas leaks and water contamination, people who break the line while you stand in queue --u00a0 no one says sorry and no one expects them to.

Why don't Indians face up to their mistakes? Is it that in such a hierarchical society, it's stupid to put yourself in an assailable position? Clinging to a mistake, means holding on to power? Admitting to one, makes you lesser and worthy of humiliation?

Still, someone said sorry this week: a paanwala near Bhalla House used the actor Vikas Bhalla's address while opening a bank account. Caught out, he said, with the sheepish tone of "a guy has to take his chances" -- sorry, was a mistake, I'll fix it.u00a0 More folks could try this, it sounds pretty easy.

Paromita Vohra is an award-winning Mumbai-based filmmaker, writer, teacher and curator working with fiction and non-fiction. Reach her at www.parodevi.com

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