Evangeline Lilly: I often feel alone, unseen

Evangeline Lilly opens up on her personal struggles. Lilly revealed she is "coming out of that deep place, slowly", but she still struggles with meaningful connection through her "darkness".

"Ant-Man And The Wasp" actress Evangeline Lilly has opened up about her personal struggles. The 40-year-old recently shared two pictures of herself taken by her four-year-old son when she was in a "dark place" a year ago, reports usatoday.com.

"I had such a rough year last year but I didn't want to share all of it with you because I didn't want to be a dark cloud in your world," she wrote on Instagram. "But I struggle deeply with feeling that all I ever am is what I feel everyone else wants and needs me to be. I often feel alone and unseen," she added.

 

 

 

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#fbf #flashbackfriday Yesterday many of you said “brunette”. Well, here she is, about a year ago today. I had such a rough year last year but I didn’t want to share all of it with you because i didn’t want to be a dark cloud in your world. All I’ve ever wanted to do was put joy in the world. To add sunshine. I didn’t want you to be having a perfectly good day and then have my post make you sad. But I struggle deeply with feeling that all I ever am is what I feel everyone else wants and needs me to be. I often feel alone and unseen. . I have always known I was strong. Strong enough, I believed, to hold all my pain and everyone else’s also. So I kept it all inside, kept it to myself, and made space in there to hold your pain, too. Publicly, I hid and made light of my deepest traumas and laughed in the face of my most profound pain. . Until, last year, I broke. Suddenly I was forced to face my weakness and my limitations, my trauma and fears. I was left with no choice but to accept that I am limited or...carry on down a road of perfectionist denial that would inevitably kill me. . I am coming out of that deep place, slowly. As I start to breathe the fresh air, as I start to find my new, limited footing, I feel disconnected from you. I feel it’s pointless to share the light when you don’t know my darkness. I feel lost and apathetic about this space we share. . But I ask myself...would you have wanted to come along in my darkness had I shared it? . ðu00c2u009fu00c2u0093· taken by my four-year-old son #whenbabieshavecameras . #lightanddarkness

A post shared by Evangeline Lilly (@evangelinelillyofficial) onMar 6, 2020 at 7:18am PST

Lilly said she unsuccessfully attempted to internalise all her "pain" because she believed she was strong enough to handle it. "Publicly, I hid and made light of my deepest traumas and laughed in the face of my most profound pain," she wrote.

"Until, last year, I broke. Suddenly I was forced to face my weakness and my limitations, my trauma and fears. I was left with no choice but to accept that I am limited or… carry on down a road of perfectionist denial that would inevitably kill me."

Lilly revealed she is "coming out of that deep place, slowly", but she still struggles with meaningful connection through her "darkness". In one photo, Lilly is seen sitting on the floor in a black tank top in shorts as she rests her hand on her forehead. In the next photo, it looks like she is feeling low.

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