Write to Diana at [email protected], or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
My boyfriend is too tired to spend time with me
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| Illustration/ Satish Acharya |
The girl next door
Dear friend,
First of all, please stop this knee-jerk reaction as I am sure you are making him feel crowded. Maybe he is just too tired, and wants space. As it is, he must have pressures being new to the city etc. How about a little understanding? Have you considered that he may be under a lot of pressure? Also, it appears that he is now more comfortable telling you he has no energy to go out, when earlier he'd do it anyway out of formality. While I agree that one must make time for loved ones, space is important even in relationships, and you must give it to him. It's possible that he may be re-thinking this, or wondering if he rushed into this relationship but pushing him into spending time with you, will only drive him further away. Eventually what has to happen, will happen and you will have to accept it. No point thinking the worst now. If he misses you, he'll come crawling back making more effort than before. Men who get chased all the time get a bit too confident for my liking and they need to be put in their place! You make the best of the space too and see how you feel about him. Meanwhile hang out with friends, and don't keep mulling over this.
He says I am fat, but I am not!
Dear Diana,
I am 26, about 5 feet4 inches tall and I weigh 60 kilos. My husband keeps saying that I am fat. Are there any circumstances under which, or cultures in which this would be considered fat? Do all guys consider this proportion too fat?
Lamiya
Dear Lamiya,
I doubt that anyone would consider you fat.u00a0 I think that you are likely average for your age group. Of course it also has to do with build and muscle tone. This is not really a great thing for your husband to be saying to you unless perhaps you were 80 kilos or more. Tell him you don't like it.
Dear Shravan,
Well, it is hard to say if this is just a crush or something more. But I can say this: If she has said that she isn't looking for a boyfriend, then it was probably a polite way of saying you are not her type, or that she is not interested. Whether it is a crush, or a real thing, it is natural for you to still think about her, but unless she wants a relationship, you will have to let her go. I know that at this point it can sound like cruel advice,u00a0 but sometimes friends is all you can be with the person you love. If she doesn't feel the same, then there is no hope or point in pursuing this.
Dear Diana,
There's this girl in my college who's really friendly sweet, and cute. I asked her out last year but she said she wasn't looking for a boyfriend. It's been long time since then, but I still can't stop thinking about her. I thought maybe someday she would feel differently about me but now I am afraid once we are out of college, I will never see her again. Is this just a college crush or something more? What should I do?
Shravan
Dear Shravan,
Well, it is hard to say if this is just a crush or something more. But I can say this: If she has said that she isn't looking for a boyfriend, then it was probably a polite way of saying you are not her type, or that she is not interested. Whether it is a crush, or a real thing, it is natural for you to still think about her, but unless she wants a relationship, you will have to let her go. I know that at this point it can sound like cruel advice,u00a0 but sometimes friends is all you can be with the person you love. If she doesn't feel the same, then there is no hope or point in pursuing this.
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