Marathi cinema’s darling, actor Siddharth Chandekar, talks about marrying off his mother at age 56
Seema Chandekar with husband Nitin Mhasawade at the ceremony held in Siddharth Chandekar’s hometown Pune
A photograph of a woman clad in a bright red saree over a matching blouse with a golden border, set right above her elbows, and the unmistakable reshmi hirvya (silky green) glass bangles sandwiched between two gold ones. Oblivious to anyone else in the room, she looks adoringly into her groom’s eyes.
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She’s Seema, actor Siddharth Chandekar’s mother, who posted the picture on Instagram on August 23. The caption in Marathi read: “Tuzhe ek svatantra sundar jagh hava, hai kadhi lakshyath nahi ga alle majhaya [It never occurred to me that you need an independent world of your own]”. The post goes on to say how Chanderkar’s mother held a grand wedding for him and that today he is glad to return the favour. Newly wed at 56 years of age, this was probably the most wholesome thing on the Internet that day.
When we connect with Chanderkar over the phone, he sweetly apologises for not getting back to us sooner, “I was so busy with the wedding,” says the Jimma actor. “I just came back to Mumbai and have been trying to catch up with pending work.” He is palpably happy at his mother’s “Second Innings” as he calls IT.
Left to right Mitali Mayekar (Siddharth Chandekar’s wife), Seema Chandekar, Nitin Mhaswade and Siddharth Chandekar
When we ask him how the match came about, he admits she wasn’t too enthusiastic at first. “She was a bit hesitant, a little unsure… it took a few months of convincing, but she came around to the idea soon.” Seema was a single parent to Chandekar and his sister Sumedha for 16 years. “When she got divorced,” he says, “it felt like she decided to set [looking after] herself aside for a while. It looked like a very [firm and well] thought-out decision on her end, which I realised much later in life.”
A few years ago, another realisation hit him when his mother requested to move back to Pune; She, Chanderkar and his actor spouse, Mitali Mayekar (Hashtag Prem and Urfi), shared a home in Mumbai. “She was cut off from her social circle at home in Sahakar Nagar,” her son realised. “When she said that, I felt a stab [of guilt]—I knew she was lonely; She wanted someone to talk to; She needed companionship… My sister and I had got busier with work and family… I could sense she got lonelier and lonelier.”
A year ago, Chandekar took it upon himself to break the idea to his mother about marrying again, and in a few months, the mother-son began sifting options. “When I tapped into my network to find someone for Aai,” he says, “I realised there are many organisations that help men and women find someone later in life for the sheer joy of companionship. This was the first thing that struck me when I spoke to Nitin Mhasawade [Seema’s groom]. I knew it would work because that was one of my primary concerns: Why a person wanted to get remarried, and that too to aai.”
He admits to struggling with the thought of his aai’s second marriage. “I was firm that I would not let the phrase, ‘Jagh kai bolel? [What will people say?]’ even enter my head,” he says, “I just cut out everyone who might have a negative opinion.” Chandekar feels it is vital for those who are alone in the golden years, and their children, to not listen to anyone else. “While it might not be not everyone’s cup of tea,” he says, “I appeal to anyone who is alone after losing a partner for whatever reason or their children, that if you relate to my mothers’ story, then give this option a try… at least once.”
Seema has been in a good mood for the past 10 days, since the wedding, reports the dutiful son. “When I moved to Mumbai and got married, she would complain that the number of times I called her in a day had drastically gone down. Yesterday, I mentioned to her that she has been off the grid for most of the day, and her two to three calls per day have dropped to just one in the past week,” he says with a chuckle.
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