'Sex and the City taught women to be daring and bold’

As Sex and the City marks 25 years, a generation of writers and filmmakers who binge-watched the TV show discuss the lessons they learnt from a bunch of women braving the big, bad city

This writer has watched Sex and the City from the first season to the last, frame to frame, at least eight times. It went from wanting to be Carrie in her tutu dress, to pretend one was living her writer-in-New York life (toxic man Mr Big in tow), to admiring the way the friendship between the four women evolved, to switching over to wanting to be Samantha, or looking at her own v-jay-jay with a hand mirror a la Charlotte. 

Last week, the show marked 25 years since Episode 1 was first aired—the one where a naive British journalist comes to New York, only to meet an eligible bachelor, who ghosts her after a whirlwind romance. In comes sex column writer Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), and her best friends, Charlotte York (Kristin Davis), Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) and Miranda Hobbs (Cynthia Nixon), to spill the bitter beans about love and dating in the big, bad city. Since then, it has captured the imagination of single, ageing, not-so-single, divorced, sexless, sex forward women all over the world. 

Most identify with either one of the women, and many see the men they are with as different versions of the men in the show. It also set high standards for female friendships—you may not get along all the time, you may disagree and judge the other, but you always have each other’s back. 

Sarah Jessica Parker, who played Carrie Bradshaw, on the sets on the last day of filming for the final episode of Sex and the City on February 4, 2004, in New York City; (right) This writer, on a trip to New York, took a picture outside the brownstone Carrie lived in, which is a mecca for all fans

For Alankrita Shrivastava, who wrote movies like Turning 30, Lipstick Under My Burkha and Dolly Kitty Aur Woh Chamakte Sitare, SATC entered her life after college, when she was had just shifted to Mumbai from Delhi to make a career in filmmaking, much like 

Carrie was trying to find her footing in New York. “It gave women a sense of how it would feel to be independent in a city, with your friends as your family. It was about navigating life on your own. Maybe now, if I re-watch it, I would feel the lack of representation and a certain romanticisation of toxic relationships like the one Carrie has with Mr Big, but at that time, it was my life,” she says, “I think we are a product of what we are in the moment—what we are watching, what we are feeling.”

Candace Bushnell wrote the book Sex and the City in 1996, two years before it was adapted for TV. It was also the year that Helen Fielding wrote Bridgette’s Jones Diary, which was made into a movie in 2001, with Renee Zellweger playing the lead. “For the first time, women characters were talking so candidly and honestly about their lives,” says screenwriter Ishita Moitra, who wrote Four More Shots Please!, which many say is the Indian counterpart to Sex and the City. Moitra says that the show deeply inspired her as a writer. “It talked about serious issues in a very funny way. We hadn’t ever seen banter between women like this. I also loved the fact that Carrie was a fashionista with a brain—she loved her shoes and clothes, and nobody judged her for it.” Aah, the clothes. Designed and styled by the legendary Patricia Field, SATC made women acutely aware of how what you wear is a reflection of your personality. Carrie with her flighty, out-of-the box outfits, which looked good anyway; Charlotte with her perfect dresses, Miranda with her androgynous style, and Samantha who upped the sex appeal in any piece of clothing. 

Alankrita Shrivastava, Ishita Moitra and Sukhmani Sadana

Writer Sukhmani Sadana, who recently wrote the show Udan Patolas about four girls and their lives in Mumbai, says that the show remains relevant because it was far ahead of its time. “They tapped into all these issues that women are still talking about— sexual or social.” That the show came out at a time when Indian women were looking for a sign to feel liberated, made it such an important piece of work. As a fan, this writer saw, and continues to see, Sex and the City, as a show that said things nobody ever said before, in a manner that made it endearing, and bitter-sweet. It told us there will be pain, but you can deal with it... with a little help from your friends. “It [also] made us believe that it was possible to do things differently and nobody was going to judge you. It let us be daring and bold, and show our sexual side. And a lot of content here tapped into that,” says Sadana. 

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